Author Archives: Buck O'Roon

About Buck O'Roon

Buck O'Roon [buhk oh-roon] –noun 1. a southerner of skeptical stripe, recognizable by his deeply furrowed brow and increasing lack of patience for institutionalized horse manure 2. curmudgeon-in-training

The Starfish And The Albatross

And so, for those of us who are citizens of the United States of America, our national mid-term elections are upon us. It is a time to reflect upon the achievements and mistakes of the past and to suggest the … Continue reading

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A Belated Eulogy For A Timely Death

This morning, we buried a true son of Paskaloochee. His name was (is?) Earnest Hetman, but everyone knew him as Het. Everyone loved him as well, which explains why a particular incident of primary importance to the latter half of … Continue reading

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For Solomon Burke

In the midst of our railing against religion, it can be easy to forget the human heart that lies within its crumbling machinery. I have long been a lover of traditional gospel music, particularly the kind that developed among African-American … Continue reading

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In Honor of National Death Month

And so, October is upon us again. Though the United States is largely divorced from its agricultural origins, for many, this month still marks the heart of harvest season. For the European ancestry that peppers many of our fellow citizens’ … Continue reading

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An Excerpt From The 2011 Edition Of Buck O’Roon’s “Poor Manner’s Almanac”

Being that it is among the most natural of things to reflect upon the lessons of the past year whenever contemplating the ripe possibilities of the year to come, I offer the following: Various & Sundry Definitions Acquired While Sitting … Continue reading

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The Call Center of the Universe

The following is a transcript of a recent telephone conversation between a service representative of the Universal Order’s Department of the Meaning of It All (UODMIA) and the 4,278,930,265th dissatisfied customer of the day: [3:48am EDT, 9/22/10, Call Origination: Paskaloochee, … Continue reading

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Collecting Dust

Some people collect stamps – famed portraits in miniature or paper windows opening upon far-flung places to which they never will carry reports of illnesses, miraculous recoveries, unexpected deaths, or funerals one wished to attend, short courtships and long engagements, … Continue reading

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